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The New Anti-Semitism and the International BDS Conspiracy

israeli hummus

Let them eat hummus–Israeli hummus, that is

There is a creeping Hatred in the land and its name is the New Anti-Semitism.  The Paul Reveres (and Josef Trumpeldors) of the anti-anti-Semitism movement are Great Souls like David Horowitz, Daniel Pipes, Ken Marcus and Judea Pearl.  Thank God they are among us at this time. Without them we would be lost.  Jewicide would triumph.

For evidence of the International BDS Conspiracy (IBDSC), we have to go no farther than Olympia, WA a mere 50 miles from my home in Seattle.  There can be no dispute that Commandante Omar Barghouti, the Propaganda Emir of the BDS Comintern has shipped thousands of dutiful shahids to the far-flung reaches of the Diaspora in order to combat the Zionist scourge.  There can also be no doubt that Barghouti’s goal is the total elimination of the Zionist entity.  His organizers, well-schooled in the hadiths of world domination, are targeting opportune communities where the message can take root.

One of these places, as I wrote, is Olympia.  It has special significance to the BDS Conspiracy because it is Washington State’s capital and because it houses that hotbed of revolutionary anti-Semitism, the Evergreen State College.  There the faculty, led by fire-breathing radicals like Prof. Steve Niva, indoctrinate students in the Protocols of the Elders of Anti-Zion.  Evergreen too was the home of the Rosa Luxemburg of the pro-Palestine movement, Rachel Corrie.  She too was one of the cadre the anti-Zionist menace exported to Israel in order to undermine the sacred Jewish claim to all of Eretz Yisrael.

I’ve consulted one of our local Bumbledores, er Trumpeldors, Rob Jacobs of StandWithJudeaandSamaria (aka StandWithJews)  He is one of my most trusted sources, informing me of the Clear and Present Danger posed by the BDS cadres in Olympia.  He’s the one who told me that Commandante Barghouti personally shipped his most seasoned guerrilla fighters from BDS Central out to Olympia to organize the food coop boycott movement.  I’m even told they rented a local home and used it as a local commune and temple for their nefarious Rites of the World Dominatrix.  There’s no doubt that BDS in Olympia came thanks to professional outside agitators seeking to export their brand of revolutionary anti-Semitic Jew hatred to the Pacific NW.

Thank God, Rob has  been there shadowing these villains every step of the way.  It was Rob who drove down himself from Seattle every other week with camera, video and a delegation of red-blooded SWJ Zionists in tow to hold up the Blue and White of the Star of David.  It was Rob who signed up as a food coop member only three days after the store approved the boycott.  All to document the dilution of our Precious Bodily Fluids represented by the International BDS Conspiracy.  It was Rob who hired Seattle lawyers to take on the radicals of the coop.  And it was Rob who brought in the Israeli consul general to assist in protecting this little slice of heaven and Eretz Yisrael in the Pacific NW.

Don’t get the idea that Rob is an outsider the same way Barghouti’s stormtroopers are.  No, Rob is one of us.  One of the good guys.  He’s an honorary Olympian Protector of Israel.  Almost like a brother.

And thank God as well for the local Jewish media.  The JTNews has given over thousands of column inches to StandWithJew board members warning, quite appropriately, about the menace posed by the anti-Israel hordes down in Olympia.  They warned us that just as Communists wanted to fluoridate our water in the 1960s, so the BDSers (I call them BSers to denote their true nature) wanted to deprive us of our sacred right to Israeli hummus.  Quel chutzpah!  The local Jewish federation has quite appropriately turned to SWJ more and more to offer a robust, virile, even manly-Maccabean response to these threats to Israel’s well-being.  The news and editorial pages of the JTNews are quite rightly closed to the incendiary rhetoric of the radical Jew haters like Jewish Voice for Peace or, God forbid, this blog.  You won’t find anyone associated with either interviewed in its pages lest they pollute the pro-Israel gene pool.

Now word has come of a real mechayeh.  The Daniel Pearl Foundation, led by Prof. Judea Pearl, whose martyred son transformed him and allowed him to see the light concerning the evils of Islam, bestowed $5,000 on JTNews assistant editor Emily Keeler Alhadeff.  She was to expose the tentacles of the “new anti-Semitism” down there in the anti-Zionist casbah of Olympia.  She spent months ferreting out the truth, which the BDS operatives attempted to conceal at every turn.  Finally, she, like the Canadian Mounties, got her man, or men (and women).  At first, they were hesitant to talk because they knew she would storm the walls of Olympiastan and tell the world the truth.  But with a combination of righteous pro-Israel fervor and a bit of verbal sleight of hand, she persuaded them to open up.  Did they ever spill the beans.

Alhadeff, who spent a good deal of her prior career as a writer peddling ghostwritten term papers for colleges students (but don’t you worry, she fulfilled her job in an ethically pure way), got the goods on them.  She may’ve used a bit of guile and subterfuge by concealing her true intentions in order to gain the trust of her informants, but we know it was for the greater good of Eretz Yisrael.  The ends justify the means when Israel is concerned, as anyone who has read the great Israeli ethicist, Yehezkel Dror would know.  In the course of her research, Alhadeff discovered that BDS Central Command charged the comrades with founding a tech startup to help finance the Revolution.  It was called DonationPay and Shahid Noah Sochet and his sub-commandante Johan Genberg, were charged with raising funds that could be used in the BDS Comintern’s march toward the Islamic Caliphate and World Dominion.

Alhadeff and her mentor at Moment Magazine, Nadine Epstein, came upon a devilishly clever method of outing the fiend from its den.  Noting that DonationPay’s website said it processed donations for non-profit organizations, through a clever bit of research they exposed the dastardly dark secret that OlympiaBDS, the HQ of the pro-Palestine Revolution, was NOT a non-profit.  What if they donated money to Olympia BDS (something insignificant like $5 so it wouldn’t terribly enrich the fiendish Barghouti and help him build his BDS Temple in liberated Tel Aviv) and got DonationPay to tell them that it could be written off as a tax-deductible donation?  Then they’d succeed in getting the company to mislead a donor and possibly interest the IRS in auditing her.  That would get those anti-Semit’n in a fix.

Epstein, brave soul that she is in the fight against BDS Domination, took on the task as mock donor.  She made her online gift.  Then bulldog Alhadeff called DonationPay hoping to catch them in a lie.  She called.  And called.   And called again.  But the evil ones must’ve been tipped off.  They didn’t mislead her.  They didn’t tell her OlympiaBDS was a 501c3 as she’d expected.  Curses, foiled again.  That’s the problem with these devils of BDS.  They’re clever and anticipate our every move.  Which only means that we must be more clever.  I know that if Alhadeff and Epstein keep it up, eventually they will catch these revolutionaries red-handed.  You go, Zio-girrls.  We’re with you.  And when you cash that $5,000 check, Emily, make you sure you go out and buy yourself a flagon of West Bank settlement-vinted Sauvignon Blanc et Bleu.  Break that boycott!

I’m delighted to tell all my fellow Lovers of Zion that Alhadeff’s article, Olympia’s Big Bad BDS Boycott, has been shipped to all of Moment Magazine’s subscribers around the world.  All 232 of them.  By the time the article reaches their mailboxes and seeps into the consciousness of all red-blooded Israel lovers it will shake the pillars of the Palestinian world cabal and bring it to its knees.

Rob Jacobs has proofread this post and swears on his Bubbe’s cholent that every word is God and Golda’s honest truth.

{ 8 comments… add one }
  • Richard Witty June 27, 2012, 3:46 AM

    Interesting parody. But, it ignores, or ridicules, the majority of genuinely liberal Zionists, that would support an equal rights movement for Palestinians, if the tone of that movement were more inviting.

    Instead of parody and condemnation, maybe invitation would be more useful. (Invitation meaning clarification and reform of BDS goals and methods.)

    • Deïr Yassin June 27, 2012, 4:10 AM

      Al-hamdulillah ! Mr Witty, the acknowledged Humanist, has honored this blog with his immense wisdom. Mr Witty that we regretfully can’t read anymore on Mondoweiss because even Phil – his ‘childhood mate’ – got fed up after 13.000 comments.
      Mr Witty is the perfect exemple of a “liberal Zionist”: if he’d been there back in ’48 he would have participated in the ethnic cleansing himself (his own words), ‘liberal’ means that he admits it was a dirty job but it had to be done for “Jewish self-deternination” (a word Mr Witty cherish) ! Hamas is to blame for everything, also that Israel hasn’t participated in the World Cup Final for more than 40 years.
      And as a genuine liberal Zionist – who’s spent one week in Israel back in the ’70’s and speaks no Hebrew nor Arabic – Mr Witty (his name is for real) of course knows better than the Palestinians what’s good for them and how to organize their struggle for freedom.
      I tell ya: “liberal Zionists” like Mr Witty are G-d’s gift to humanity (a resumé of the 13.000 comments…).

    • Grantham June 27, 2012, 4:49 AM

      What you mean by “equal rights” for Palestinians? A state based on the UN partition in 1947 (that, by the way, was already unequal), in which they would have secure borders with their own military suitably armed by a friendly big power for protection from any neighbour that might, for instance, fire a rocket from an aircraft? Or perhaps participation in the State of Israel with full voting rights and equal right of return with Jews? Or in the Orwellian state that is Israel, is it the case that all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others?

  • dickerson3870 June 27, 2012, 8:11 PM

    RE: “That’s the problem with these devils of BDS. They’re clever and anticipate our every move.” ~ R.S.

    MY COMMENT: Satan works/moves in mysterious ways!

    P.S. A very funny post!

    • Richard Silverstein June 28, 2012, 12:32 AM

      Thanks, you & Antony Lowenstein appear to be among the few who appreciated it. But I enjoyed writing it. Much of it is actually true & I hope to write a straightforward piece once I can read Alhadeff’s story in all its glory.

      • Bob Mann June 29, 2012, 12:46 AM

        Did you see this recent post on Antony Lowenstein’s blog:

        Finally some sense on showing Zionist love

        Stand back, world, Amer­ica has spo­ken:

        Con­gress today passed a bi­par­ti­san bill re­quir­ing Amer­i­cans to add Is­rael’s Star of David to the U.S. flag for the week of July 4th. Rep. Hugh Llewellyn III (R-Al­abama) and Sen. Dale Went­worth (D-New Jer­sey) in­tro­duced the leg­is­la­tion dur­ing a spe­cial ses­sion.

        Cit­i­zens who own Amer­i­can flags should pro­ceed to their near­est Post Of­fice to re­ceive their free Star of David patch, which in­cludes a con­ve­nient flag-ready VEL­CRO® back­ing.

        Is­raeli of­fi­cials have made no com­ment on the Con­gress­mens’ bill, ex­cept to say that the Star of David should be placed above the flag’s other fifty stars.


        You two seem to have a similar sense of humor – it is not surprise that he appreciated your post!

  • Phil June 28, 2012, 4:32 PM

    All persons interested in Israel and Jews should Google “Do Christian Zionist Authors Push Their Agenda Through Lies and Plagiarism?”
    (Warning: Christian Zionists will not be provided with shock absorbers!)

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