A German TV new segment reports (German/video) that recently several Mossad agents were found monitoring the progress of a German-built nuclear-armed Dolphin submarine headed through a northern German canal to Israel. The Mossad spies were presumably offering security or monitoring the progress of the sub near the shipyard where it was built on the Baltic as it made its way through the canal to the North Sea (and from there to the Atlantic). I suspect they were offering security in case someone sought to harm the sub or videotape it as it sailed on the surface of the canal.
In order to track the sub, the bungling spies rented a car and stashed their automatic weapons (!) in the car. But they didn’t foresee that the ground along the canal would be muddy from winter rain. Nor did they rent a vehicle with four wheel drive. To top it all off, they entered a forbidden zone along the canal, where their vehicle promptly got stuck in the mud.
At first, asking for help, they [the Mossadniks] had approached a local elderly lady, who notified the mayor. They explained to the mayor that they were investigating the environment because they were planning to sail the channel this upcoming summer.** This sounded “funny” to the mayor, [no one “sails” in the channel since it’s too dangerous–everyone uses their engines] and he called the police, who found two automatic weapons (“Maschinenpistolen”) in the trunk. At this point, they changed their story, claiming to hold Israeli diplomatic status, and that they were there to monitor the German/Israeli submarine (transponder: NOK28), which true enough passed through the channel on that day.
The Germans then ordered a tractor to pull them out of the mud. The bill: 1263€. The town mayor was pretty upset to find Israeli spies in his jurisdiction. Especially when he had to pay the bill for their ineptitude. So he sent the bill to the Israeli embassy for immediate payment! He also wondered how it was that Mossad agents were entitled to carry automatic weapons in their vehicle.
It is absolutely shameful for any Mossad agent to be forced to blow his cover on foreign soil. These guys were probably immediately shipped back the Mossad HQ for retraining or cashiering!
Just as Bibi Netanyahu and his polices are driving Israel into the mud, so too this Mossad caper drove these poor shleppers into the mud. Too many parallels to let this go without comment!!
Here is more background reporting on the Dolphin submarine program which (in a dark irony) offers Israel the ability to incinerate the Middle East in another Holocaust.
Thanks for parsing some of the finer points of the news report go to a German-speaking Facebook Friend. And thanks for the passage translated above to Jens Moeller Andreasen. H/t to Christoph Germann for his tweet on the original German TV story.
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What are the odds the Israelis bill the Germans for the stress they caused to the poor innocent Mossad agents who were only armed in case they had to deal with someone who looked at them funny?
Or . . . . who looked like a recent arrival from Syria or Iraq. You know . . . an Arab.
Too, too funny!
‘Mossadnicks’ will have to do – Keystone Cops wa already taken.
“Just as Bibi Netanyahu and his polices are driving Israel into the mud, so too this Mossad caper drove these poor shleppers into the mud. Too many parallels to let this go without comment!!”
That was exacly what I thought when I saw your headline and the picture. Perfect metaphor ! And we could elaborate on the German Mayor refusing to pay the bill 😉