Twitter and Winning the Online War for Israel

Those valiant hasbara honchos in the Israeli foreign ministry are fighting the good fight on behalf of Israel and the Jewish people.  First, Danny Ayalon stood up to the Turkish ambassador by seating him on a kiddie chair and showing how to humiliate a true enemy of Israel.  Then Danny stiffed a U.S. Congress delegation, making clear that he’d have nothing to do with those anti-Israel, so-called Jews in J Street.  Next, to show Israel in a truly constructive light as a center of hot sex in the Middle East–the MFA, Canadian Jewish pro-Israel donors, and the Israel lobby funded a thrilling video that proffered oral sex in return for traveling to the land of hot beaches and bronzed bodies that is Israel.

Yuli Edelstein, settler, and minister of the newly created Hasbara (I kid you not) Ministry, created a devilishly witty website which makes fun of foreign journalists telling their audiences back home that the IDF uses camels to haul their ammunition and that standards of civilization are somewhere in the late 19th century.  He’s also deputized Israeli tourists and, why the hell not, the entire Jewish people to be ambassadors of hasbarist good will on Israel’s behalf.  I tell you, as a good Zionist, it just makes my heart pound and my body tingle.  We’re finally getting out the message.  With this, it won’t be long before we win this damn propaganda war with the dark Arab hordes.  Then Israel will stand with its foot atop the neck of those damn Palestinians, as it should be.

Now, Danny and his friends in the Australian Zionist Federation have discovered a truly nefarious enemy within our very own Jewish people.  These are those Jewish-born individuals who should be ashamed to call themselves Jews (we certainly don’t), because they hate, I say HATE, Israel and all it stands for.  People like those nasty Twitterers who mock magnificent specimens of Jewish manhood like Gerald Steinberg of NGO Monitor, and deputy minister Ayalon himself.  And how do these so-called Jews disseminate their hate?  Not through the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.  No they’re far too crafty and hip for that.  They seek ever newer ways to promote their bile.  They do it using the tools of the young people on whom they prey: YouTube, Facebook and Twitter.  Yes, I said Twitter.  Is nothing sacred?

And who do we have to thank for this Paul Revere-like early warning of the impending peril to Israel?  Something called the Community Internet Engagement Project of the Australian Zionist Federation.  You see, many of our leaders are the white-haired Old Guard.  They’re used to dictating to cute secretaries a la Mad Men.  They barely know how to type, let alone tweet or “friend” someone on Facebook.  They’re the dinosaurs.  But the future belongs to the CIEP which aims to teach Australian Zionists how to fight for Israel in the perpetual online war waged by Islamofascists and their anti-Zionist fellow travelers.  All I can say is thank God for this veritable firewall, or should I say mechitza, on behalf of all that is good about the Jewish people.

We should thank them for all they do on our behalf (cut out that sniggering you in the back, this is serious work we’re engaged in):

Israel has been attached [sic] in Wikipedia, Facebook, YouTube, and Flickr. Eventually it had to happen… and in messages of 140 characters of [sic] less, now Twitter too is being used in public diplomacy against the Jewish state….In Israel MKs, such as Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon, are also making use of Twitter. So is the IDF’s spokesperson and the Israeli Foreign Ministry. What’s new…are efforts to use Twitter to attack, satirise or demonise. Two fake profiles demonstrate the potential. The first, is a FakeDannyAyalon profile on twitter, [sic] is an example of political attacks. Using his real picture and a string of 79 posts, the profile spreads over-the-top messages in the Deputy Foreign Minister’s name. One expounds the rights of protestors to express themselves in Iran, going on to say those who do so in Israel should be shot. Another suggests a Palestinian Mandela must be found… so that he can be locked up. The second fake profile of interest is for NGO Monitor. NGO Monitor is the watchdog organisation that reports on human rights NGOs active in the Arab Israeli conflict.  This profile likewise makes over the top and self defeating statements. “‘Telling the truth is less important than defending Israel.’ Yes, EXACTLY! When will you learn?!” it reads. Another comment says “Remember: Everything we say = democratic debate, legitimate criticism. Everything they say = exploiting democracy for a political agenda”.

Ashley Perry and advisor to Danny Ayalon responded to our enquiries saying they were aware of FakeDannyAyalon on Twitter and that “imitation is the highest form of flattery”…Despite the interest from imitators, Danny Ayalon apparently soon launch a blog and an interactive website. One wonders if FakeDannyAyalon will be left by the wayside.

The fake profile for NGO Monitor is less blatant than that for Danny Ayalon. IT differs from NGO Monitor’s real account by only an under score. The posts also link to articles that debate and respond to NGO Monitor reports. The profile itself lists the Palestinian Propaganda [!] site Electronic Intifada as its home page. Electronic Intifada was previously exposed as being behind efforts to manipulate the Wikipedia community after they infiltrated and exposed efforts by CAMERA to encourage more people to become Wikipedia editors.

It’s taken a while, but finally twitter too has become a tool of online warfare. While Facebook bans the use of fake names, Twitter only prohibits Impersonation and Trademark violations. It remains to be seen how far satire can be used as a cover, and how good the satire must be to qualify. One this [sic] is certain, the online world is only growing in impact when it comes to politics and the international reputation of countries. Israel is starting to get online, but there is a long way still to go.

And with starke Yidn like Prof. Dr. Oboler on our side, we’ll get there in no time.  Who is this fellow, you ask?

Dr. Andre Oboler is a social media expert and Director of the Community Internet Engagement Project. He…spent a year as a Post Doctoral Fellow focusing on Online Public Diplomacy at Bar-Ilan University in Israel.

Phew, I feel better already.  One thing you should know, by the way, is that that wonderful sounding name “public diplomacy” is another phrase for hasbara when it comes to Israel.  It’s selling Israel, selling its story (as conceived by the pro-Israel right), selling the good, and dismissing the bad with the wave of a hand.

Psst, Dr. Oboler, use that PhD in computer science to buy yourself a good grammar check program, lest the anti-Semit’n out there start thinking all of us Jews are semi-literate.

To enjoy the wonderful satire of NGO_Monitor and FakeDanny Ayalon, visit their profiles and be ready to laugh your head off.  Some of this has to be written by writers for Eretz Nehederet, it’s that good.  By the way, Prof. Dr. Oboler missed a few other hilarious ones as well that would throw him into fits of righteous indignation: Fake_Bibi, FakeShimonPeres, DanHalutz, M_Ahmadinejad, SalamFayyad and MohammadDahlan.  Please let us know about others in the comment thread below.

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