U.S. to Invite Syria to Mideast Peace Conference

Condi Rice was so enthusiastic about the idea of inviting Syria to the upcoming Mideast peace conference that she couldn’t even say the country’s name:

“It’s only natural that we would hope that the participants would include the members of the Arab League Follow Up Committee.”

It got me to thinking of a few other ways in which they could show Syria that they really, really appreciated their participation in the conference:

1. Throwing a ticker tape parade for the Syrian delegation down Pennsylvania Avenue hosted by the Muslim Brotherhood
2. Local delegation host: Larry Craig
3. All name tags for Syrian conference participants will be in Hebrew
4. Goodie bags to include shrapnel from Israeli cluster bombs dropped on Lebanon
5. Conference proceedings interrupted three times daily for Shaharit, Mincha and Maariv services. Tefillin and yarmulkes provided of course.
6. The delegation will be housed in the Naval brig
7. Bedside reading: Jackie Mason’s The World According to Bashir and Me
8. Dick Cheney will deliver their wake up call
9. Conference maps will show the Golan as Israeli territory and–oops, won’t show Syria at all
10. Food will be catered by a glatt kosher caterer and participants will say the motzi and sing birkat ha-mazon at every meal
11. Closing song: Hatikva

So how much do the Bushies want Syria there? As much as they want to catch the plague maybe? The only question is whether Syria calls their bluff and attends. Or whether it stays home realizing that nothing would come of its participation anyway since Bush wants nothing to do with Syrian rapprochement.