Dr. Irving Moskowitz, bingo king, hospital mogul and settler real estate magnate, today issued a call for nominations for the 2011 Moskowitz-Kahane Prize for Zionism. Candidates must be true believers in Jewish supremacy over all of Biblical Israel and be proficient in Krav Maga and all aspects of AK-47 maintenance. It wouldn’t hurt if they’d killed or seriously maimed a Sand Nigger. Video of candidates dousing hot oil on Israeli police during settlement evacuations is a definite plus. Attendance at a Baruch Marzel anti-Arab pogrom is a must. If you’ve called for hanging an Israeli prime minister who gives up an inch of Jerusalem, you’re our kinda guy. If you are willing to tell the world that the State of Israel can go to Hell and you support an Jewish kingdom governed by strict halacha, you’ve got a shot.
The $50,000 prize must be used to protect our brethren in the Eretz Ha-Kodesh from the filthy, disgusting scum. Preferably you’ll purchase suitable weaponry to perform your sacred task or else use the funds to liberate formerly Jewish homes currently in the hands of the Unclean.
Past winners of the Prize have included:
Meir Kahane (may a Tzadik be remembered for good)
Baruch Goldstein
Yigal Amir
Julien Soufir
Asher Weisgan
Eden Natan-Zada
Jack Teitel
If you think you have the right stuff, see if you measure up against these Heroes of Zion.
Peaceniks, do-gooders, Arab lovers, Jew haters, need not apply.
We’ll see you at the bingo parlor in Hawaiian Gardens, the engine that drives the settlement train ($150-million worth!).
Thanks to Michael Levin for the artwork.
Why would they have to be proficient in “all aspects of AK-47 maintenance?” No Israelis, regardless of their political orientation, use AK-47s. They are tough weapons, able to function under extreme circumstances and cheap to manufacture but they’re not very accurate and there just aren’t that many floating around here. M-16s, Tavors and even Galils and Uzis are much more available.
…good point… *widens eyes and rolls them sharply*
Settlers use AK-47s. I’ve seen pictures of them holding them. But in due deference I’ll consider changing my text there to reflect a more kosher Israeli patriotic commitment to homegrown weapons.
An M-16 is no more kosher than an AK-47. There are a handful of AK-47s floating around but they are rare. I’ve never seen more than 3-4 in the hands of Israelis ever.
AK-47s were given to settlers for defence after they were captured in the first Lebanon war (1982).
Later in the ’80s they were gathered in and sold to a central American country (I think Guatemala). Today there are no “legal” Ak-47 except for elite commando use.
One who saw an AK-47 may have confused it with the Galil which is an Israeli copy of the AK-47 (and also no longer in use)
I saw a settler with an AK-47 about 3 years ago. I know the difference between a Galil and an AK-47. Besides, the Galil is hardly a copy of the AK-47 – it shares similarities but it’s a vast improvement and Galils are also mostly chambered for 5.56 mm ammunition while AK-47s are chambered for 7.62 mm rounds (a sniper version of the Galil is chambered for 7.62 mm rounds). The Galil continues to be used by the police who don’t mind having to occasionally shlep this relatively heavy assault rifle. Guatemala actually bought a lot of Galils – I think the AK-47s were sold to Honduras, for next to nothing.
You mean like this?:
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/03rU1c2fFm67l/610x.jpg
or this:
http://img246.imageshack.us/i/610xpvc.jpg/
No M-16s, but…
http://mondoweiss.net/images/2010/05/settlers.jpg
dangerous just the same.
Can I submit my own effigy to burn or do you suppose they already have a few?
Biting satire!
Israel lobby in Canada: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ2MY58RunM
Thank you for mentioning Julien Soufir. You write in your “Annals of Jewish Terror” that you’ve “noticed that the French-Israeli who murdered a Palestinian taxi-driver . . . is not mentionned”.
In France neither !
On April 7th 2002 during a pro-Israeli rally in Paris, members of the Jewish Defense League (not forbidden here) and the Betar started a ‘ratonnade’ [a racial attack on Arabs – a word going back to the Algerian war of liberation] on some Arab bypassers. A police superintendent – off duty – who intervened was seriously stabbed. He spent a long time in hospital and after heavy pressure from the CRIF (the French ADL), the police officer withdraw his complaint. Some of the local extremists were ‘exfiltrated’ to Israel. Of course we never heard anything about the wounded police officer in the MSM. Had he been stabbed by an Arab while defending a Jew, I guess it would have been all over the place.
When Julien Soufir was arrested after the assasination of the Palestinian taxi-driver, police sources told off the record that Soufir was the guy who had stabbed the police officer back in 2002.
Exfiltrating extremist sioniste from the Jewish Defense League has become a very bad habit here. A Jewish founder of a solidarity group with Palestine, Olivia Zemor, received death threats, was told on her private phone that they ‘would take care of’ her teenage daughter etc. By the time, the case came to court, one of the 4 accused was already off to Israel.
I should have written: “police sources told off the record that Soufir was PROBABLY [accusé d’avoir poignardé] the guy who had stabbed . . “
On the subject of prizes, I would like to propose that an award be given to anyone who can demonstrably defuse and render obsolete all (or almost all) of this conflict between Israelis and Palestinians.
Currently the USA is donating (or may be about to donate) the equivalent of some three billion dollars and change to buy a measly 90 day moratorium on East Jerusalem settlement building. A more comprehensive outcome, such as the one mentioned above, could easily command a vastly greater sum. And I’m sure there would be quite a few countries and organisations eager and willing to buy into such a deal.
My own efforts in this regard are already on record but anyone else would be more than welcome to join in.
In any event, just so long as the prize is big enough to make Dr. Moskowitz et al. look like pikers at an Ebenezer Scrooge convention, that in itself should be ample reward for such endeavours.
This is worthy of Jesus’ General !
He’s busy today with family ( imagine ! ), and has, of course, your link, but I’m going to encourage him to share this.
On a very different note: or perhaps related to John Yorke’s comment directly above:
December 11 is Grace Paley’s Birthday.
@Nomi,
Sorry, Nomi, but that’s too cryptic even for me.
Somehow I sense I’m on the wrong side of the pond to make the proper connection.
Jesus’ General is one of the funniest anti-evangelical blogs around. Scandalously, scabrously funny.
Funny but even though I live in Seattle where he does he’s been very coy about his identity. I invited him to a conference I hosted here & he preferred to preserve his incognito.
Happy birthday to you Grace. We miss you. Thanks Nomi for reminding us.
Thanks for the link to the General, Richard. That is one hilarious blog.
Being able to take the matter so far beyond its limits that it becomes a parody of itself is a rare gift.
Let’s hope it will persuade some people to stop and think a little more about what they’re doing. Or what they imagine they’re doing.
The Grace Paley reference, however, still escapes me.
bit confused here
are you upset that there is an award, or that you have no chance of winning it?
That seems a normal state for you.
nice comeback
btw, one of the past winners is a rav in sdeirot
so i guess they give the awards to those who arent settlers
you still have a chance….get thee to a yeshiva
Why am I not surprised you know the names of all the winners? As for whether the winners are settlers or not, some of the most rabid, hateful rabbanim live in Brooklyn, Tsfat, etc. They’re settlers at heart, just don’t live in Tapuach or Nokdim.
i didnt know about the award
the past winners are listed on the site
and i thought you dont go out of your way to diss rabbis
you dont know him…
Oh, I diss settler rabbis all the time, which is what this guy is whether he’s on the wrong or right side of the Green Line.
RE: the 2011 Moskowitz-Kahane Prize for Zionism
How do I go about nominating Elliott Abrams, Senior Fellow for Middle Eastern Studies at the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR)?
P.S. Would “Pastor” John Hagee of the Cornerstone Megachurch® and John Hagee Ministries™ be eligible for the Moskowitz-Kahane Prize for Zionism?
Indeed he would. Perhaps Irving can nominate GOD-TV’s Rory Alec & Hagee together–kinda like a joint Nobel Prize award.
I Can’t seem to find any reference to murderers like Goldstein winning this prize anywhere. Could you please provide a link or at least something more than your opinion on the matter?
Also still waiting for an update about the AK-47 story…
Can anyone produce some evidence that they still exists in settler arms caches?
Please look up the phrase “satire” in Wikipedia or any reliable dictionary & study it carefully.
And yes, settlers have AK-47s.