Archive for Humor

Fosella’s Double Life–Why Do Republicans Have All the Fun?

The Democrats may be on top of the heap politically, but when it comes to vice, Republicans have the market cornered. First, there was Jack Abramoff showering Republicans with Super Bowl tickets and free meals at his Kosher restaurant. Then there was Mark Foley IM’ing the boys a good time. Now, there’s Vito Fosella who lived a double life with a wife and three children at home on Staten Island, and a second family in Washington, D.C. The N.Y. Times notes:

His primary political patron was Guy V. Molinari, a former congressman and Staten Island borough president who once referred to Mr. Fossella as “my son.”

I hope Molinari didn’t mean that literally or he might have a similar problem on his hands.

Democrats look downright dull in comparison to this bunch. Not a single Wilbur Mills among ‘em. One thing you can say for Fosella though, is that he carried on with a higher class of woman that Mills’s stripper Fanne Fox.  The former at least was shacking up with a lieutenant colonel, doing his bit to support our men and women in uniform.

Why do Republicans get to have all the fun?? Lighten up Dems!

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Israel Rejects Hamas Ceasefire Proposal

The Israeli prime minister, Ehud Olmert, signaled flexibility last month by saying that military attacks on Gaza would stop if its Hamas rulers stopped cross-border rocket salvos.

Israel dismissed a proposal by the Palestinian group Hamas for a six-month truce in the Gaza Strip…

New York Times

So, let’s get this straight: Olmert says if Hamas stops rocket attacks on Israel that he’ll stop IDF attacks on Gaza; then Hamas offers to do precisely that and Israel refuses. Curiouser and curiouser…

Ah, but Israel can afford to play the tough guy on this one. Its current policy toward Hamas is going so swimmingly. 1.5 million Gazans subsisting on UN food rations. Qassams raining down on Sderot. Israelis killed in cross border infiltrations. Shalit still in his kidnappers’ hands. Hamas holding onto power with no dent made in its popularity by Israel’s tough love approach. Yes, it’s going so well there’s absolutely no need to meet Hamas halfway. Take the high road. They’ll come around. They always do.

And don’t forget those media talking points–Israel is the one who wants peace. Israel is the one open to compromise. It’s just those nasty terrorists who you can’t trust as far as you can throw ‘em.

No doubt tomorrow’s headline in Israeli dailies will trumpet how Hamas is rearming and preparing for all-out war; how Iran is resupplying Hamas with bigger and better rockets. All part of the IDF-intelligence apparatus spin machine trying to spook Israelis into believing they have no recourse but to continue with the same bankrupt policy which has produced no results for so long.

Look at what Israel’s UN ambassador did to Jimmy Carter yesterday. For having the temerity to meet with Hamas, encourage a deputy prime minister to meet with Hamas, and for urging Israel to meet with Hamas–Gillerman took out the long knives and put a shiv in Carter’s gut calling him “a bigot” with “blood on his hands.” Wow. That’s pretty good knife play for a mere diplomat. Maybe he learned to rough his victims up verbally with some prior training in the Israeli Border Police.

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Lukovich, Obama’s Missing American Flag Pin, & Presidential Debate

lincoln douglass debate cartoon

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Olmert: We’ll Make Peace Some Day, Just Not Right Now

Sorry for the black humor but this is the Middle East after all.

Dueling headlines:

Olmert upbeat on Mideast peace talks

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert on Wednesday said he was optimistic that current negotiations would produce a lasting peace with the Palestinians.

–Los Angeles Times

Olmert Pours Cold Water On Peace Process

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said on Wednesday that he expected that only a framework of a peace deal could be reached with Palestinians by the end of the year, not an actual agreement.

–Daily Star

Go figure. It’s the Middle East. Your guess is as good as mine which is right and what any of it means.

Here’s some more odd I-P humor:

President Bush has invited Palestinian Authority leader Mahmoud Abbas to the White House in an effort to give a kick to Mideast peace talks, the White House said Thursday.

Associated Press

Just like Bush to kick a peace process when it’s down!

Shmuel Rosner is always good for a joke (unintentional that is) or an outrage and his current column is no exception. Get a load of the utter delusion both in Rosner’s judgments and in his informant’s:

U.S. President George Bush is finishing his tenure in office precisely as he began it: still determined not to repeat the mistakes of the previous administration, that of Bill Clinton…Bush saw his predecessor buried under the rubble of Camp David and found no reason to retrace that same path.

…The president is still determined not to repeat what the previous president did. Hopefully, he will be sufficiently determined. Well-positioned persons [like whom??] note that Clinton passed down to his successor a dysfunctional peace process. A violent intifada [Clinton's fault of course]. The size of the abyss into which the two sides slid was commensurate to Clinton’s ambition to bring an end to the conflict.

A senior official described it thus: “Clinton drove an expensive race car in order to reach the end of the race, but spun at the curve. What Bush got from him was not a car but a pile of rubble.” The outgoing president - in 10 months - intends to leave his successor the keys to a car in working order.

Let’s leave aside the inapt transformation of a car into a “pile of rubble” (wouldn’t “heap of junk” have sounded better?). All I can say is that’s rich. Bush will leave for the next president the keys to a car that is a rusted hulk and utterly undrivable. When President Obama (let’s hope) puts the keys in the ignition it’s liable to blow up in his face. The car called “Iraq” will, as well, be in about the same state of disrepair when he hands over those keys.

Headlines thanks to American Task Force for Palestine’s Editor’s Picks.

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Fakes, Blowhards, and Other Pro-Israel Wingnuts in Uniform

If I had a nickel for every wingnut who’s ever written something stupid or sleazy about me I’d be a rich man. The infinite variety of the abuse, lies and invective is a remarkable testament to the inventiveness of the human race. It’s also a testament to the human ability to waste its time and energy in copious amounts.

The latest example of this is someone who calls himself ‘John Rohan’ and blogs at Shield of Achilles (no, I’m not going to do anything to boost this shmendrik’s site traffic by providing a link). After an endless stream of logorrheic comments here and being called by him a self-hating Jew (Rohan isn’t Jewish of course, which certainly makes him the best judge on matters like this), “fraud,” and other choice epithets, I banned ‘Rohan’ (or whatever his name is).

What’s interesting about this fellow if he tells the truth on his blog (which with wingnuts is, of course, always in doubt) is that his blog claims he is a military intelligence officer serving in Wiesbaden, Germany. If he does serve in the U.S. armed forces it means that your and my tax dollars are supporting military wingnuts in smearing their fellow citizens online. Don’t know about you–but I find this disturbing. Not to mention that the vitriol he spouts puts him at odds with U.S. military and foreign policy. In comments at my blog and private e-mails, he attacks erstwhile U.S. allies like Saudi Arabia by name and denounces Palestinians as a people as little short of terrorist murderers. I’d have thought that the military would want to protect itself from being associated with wingnut rage like this.

If this guy is genuine is it any wonder that our military effort in Iraq has failed so miserably (where he claims to have served training the Iraqi police, God help us–and them)? Is it any wonder that our armed forces and government as a whole have absolutely no idea how to relate to the Arab world when this is the best our military can come up with?

Just in case there’s any truth to his claims about his occupation, I’ve written to the base commander at Wiesbaden to report on “Rohan’s” activity. If I don’t receive any reply my next step will be contacing my Congressional representative.

If Rohan is lying and he is not a military intelligence officer then we’ll have yet one more example of wingnuts posing as macho wannabe gung ho types. He’ll be little more than a poor, raging fool seeking to create a life for himself based on fantasy. Given that Rohan has publicly attacked me on his own blog I’d guess he’s either a fraud claiming to be a military intelligence officer or a supremely self-confident soldier-fool who thinks he can get away with just about anything. And if he’s fake, I’d think the army would not look kindly on bloggers falsely assuming the identity of military personnel.

I have a reader who serves in the Israeli army and often disagrees with my views and tells me so. But unlike Rohan, the former won’t blog publicly about his political views or comment at my blog both because the army doesn’t want him to and because he doesn’t want his own views to reflect in any way on the army. I can respect that. “Rohan” has no such humility or modesty.

After I banned Rohan, he began sending me unsolicited e-mails. When I told him to stop writing, all of a sudden I started getting e mails making virtually the same false claims about me from someone named ‘Michael Villano.’ I don’t know whether the e-mails are from Rohan or a wingnut co-conspirator (their IP addresses appear to be different). I don’t even know if their author really is named Michael Villano–michaelvillano@att.net.

Rohan has taken the despicable step of publishing my e mail address at his blog, thereby allowing spammers to harvest it. Since one egregious violation of personal privacy deserves another, I’ll feature his here and let the spammers have at him as well: johnrohan@hotmail.com.

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Dick Cheney: U.S. Will Never Pressure Israel

My Israeli friend, Zvi Solow, just wrote me about Dick Cheney's blessed visit to the Holy Land. I was so touched to know that he davened there on Easter. Perhaps he was looking for a divine sign of the resurrection of his political prospects. Jesus may be able to raise the dead but even he can't help Bush-Cheney.  CBS reports that he sang Amazing Grace during the prayer service.  Do you think even God would save a "wretch like him?" Zvi wrote the following: Richard this should interest you. On Geula Even's evening news program she revued Cheyne's visit here & commented on what he said: "with opinions like that he would have no problem integrating into ...

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Clinton’s Claim That Palestinian Textbooks Slur Israel is False

You may recall Hillary Clinton trumpeting the news that Palestinian school textbooks teach hatred of Israel and Jews. This so-called revelation was supposed to teach the world the perfidy of Palestinians; that they don't want peace; that they only want to hate; and that the fault for the conflict lay at the foot of the Palestinians alone. Hillary's 'news' was meant as a boon to AIPAC and the Israel-First crowd and meant to bolster her pro-Israel bona fides. In fact, two senior Jewish Federation volunteers use the charge to support their endorsement of Clinton's candidacy. When I first read of Hillary's charge my response was: "So what?" I spent most of my public school education ...

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Cheney to Israel to ‘Advance Peace Talks’–Really

In the midst of an otherwise semi-upbeat report on negotiations among Egypt, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and Israel about a comprehensive ceasefire, I read this tantalizing tidbit: Vice President Dick Cheney will travel to the Middle East on Sunday, the White House said Monday. The trip will include visits to Israel and the West Bank in the hope of advancing the peace talks. Is it just me or does anyone else find this unbelievable. A bit of dark humor perhaps?  Dick Cheney is going to "advance the peace talks?" How? By finding WMD in Gaza City? A little yellow cake in Beit Hanoun? Letting Dick Cheney loose in the West Bank is about as good an idea as ...

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Obama to Offer VP Spot to Hillary

Actually, not. But I think the rumors Billary have been floating all weekend about what a swell VP boy-wonder would make deserve to be filagreed but good. The woman as much as told America that if they had a choice between McCain and Obama, they'd be in better hands with McCain. Now she wants to tell us how good a job he'd do as her doormat--er, I mean doorman. Have you ever heard anything so cynical? "I know that she has always been open to it," the former president said, "Because she believes that if you can unite the energy and the new people that he's brought in and the people in these vast swaths of small town ...

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Passing of the Old Guard

Peres watches Castro's resignation and says: "So soon?" Thanks to Sol Salbe for this Haaretz cartoon. For a little background--Castro's 50 years of leadership of Cuba compares favorably (or not depending on your point of view) with Peres' similar longevity in Israeli politics. Don't you think it's time for all those Birthright and AIPAC missions to hear from some new voices other than the same old tired ones of the Old Guard like Peres, Netanyahu, et al?

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