All the baby books we read (& we read many) say to sleep separately from your babies. With our first, we started him out in bed with us. My wife found that her sleep wasn’t sound (since she was attuned to the baby’s every movement) and his wasn’t either. When we moved him to a crib he was NOT happy & let us know about it (i.e. punished us)! Eventually, he got used to it & everyone was better off. Yes, there were times when she had to get up in the middle of the night to breastfeed. But eventually all three of our children settled down & slept through the night (which we define as 9-10 hrs.).

I know that many moms don’t have it so easy & their babies don’t sleep that well at night. That’s why I started out by saying I don’t presume to know what will work best for everyone.

{Me, I opted for the sleeping with the baby. He stirs a bit, I pop in the boob, we both go to sleep, and I wake up rested in the morning. Easy peasy. Yes, it involves setting up your sleeping space to be safe for babies, but that wasn’t a big deal with us. }

I set up the pillows right and in the beginning I got paranoid about suffocating the baby but now we have a king sized bed and I sleep with my husband, a 3 year old who still breastfeeds and the new baby. It works quite well. He sleeps a million times better at night than he does during the day. And yes, my 3 year old sleeps thru the night before you ask. lol.

Here’s the deal. If you want to still get a decent amount of fsleep and breastfeed exclusively for 6 months (both of which, I’m doing right now) you can: pump into bottles and have dad take a feeding or two, or just sleep with the baby. Me, I opted for the sleeping with the baby. He stirs a bit, I pop in the boob, we both go to sleep, and I wake up rested in the morning. Easy peasy. Yes, it involves setting up your sleeping space to be safe for babies, but that wasn’t a big deal with us.

But here’s the funny thing. We live in phenomenally blue part of the east - I mean, we’re so liberal around here that people accuse Clinton of being part of the vast right wing conspiracy. Breastfeeding is the norm - really without question - among liberal, educated women. There is still this sort of wierd prurient thing in the air about popping a boob out on the bench at the Mall, which probably has much less to do with breastfeeding than it does with BREASTS.

My wife, for medical reasons, was unable to breastfeed our second child - and I have to tell you, I got serious, serious vibe from folks when a bottle was taken out for our 0-30 week old kid. This air of “oh, how selfish” or something.

So you just can’t win. My mother says that in her era, if you were educated and liberal, you simply didn’t breastfeed your kids unless you we’re truly a hippie - not a “teacher on campus” kind of a hippy, but a “fuck college, it’s just a further arm of the man” kind of hippy. Maybe she overstated, I dunno, I was only 1 year old in 1967, so I have no reference point.

So things seem to go back and forth.

I feel badly for you that anyone would single you out for criticism for bottlefeeding. That is ridiculous & unfair. But I’ve noticed there is this La Leche League attitude among some who attach opprobrium to any form of feeding other than the breast. Everyone has to make their own way on this & no one method is the RIGHT one.